EATS! American Grill
http://eatsamericangrill.com/
4502 South Dale Mabry Highway Tampa, FL 33611
(813) 835-3287

Today’s Music:
Godspeed You! Black Emperor – Yanqui U.X.O.
Fugazi – Instrument Soundtrack
Cloud Nothings – Attack on Memory

I don’t know why, but it seems like there weren’t that many places that did Philly Cheesesteaks when I lived in Michigan. I really started having cheesesteaks after I moved down here to Tampa. Apparently the cheesesteak is regular bar fare down here. Now whether it’s good or not… that’s the question. Most of the places that I’ve been to end up using provolone or other white cheeses that need to be melted. The downside to this, is that if the meat/cheese cool down you end up with a meaty cheese log. I’m big on texture, so a cheese log isn’t really palatable for me. So I’ve been in search of the cheez whiz Philly.

We were talking about this with one of our coworkers last week, and he mentioned EATS!. So I went over to their website to check out what they had to offer. He mentioned they were on the Food Network or some such. First thing I noticed was the Philly Cheesesteak with Cheez Whiz. FINALLY! Last week was a busy week though and we didn’t make it over until today. (Matt noticed something else on the menu…)

They serve you some freshly made chips with a dip. Very nice surprise, and delicious. I ordered my usual unsweet iced tea which, by the way, was good.

And now you get to feast your eyes on what Matt had been eyeing since last week:

They have a food challenge. 2lb burger 1lb of fries. Matt was feeling the hunger today and decided to go for it. Above you can see the chef and our waitress presenting the burger castle. Matt starts in on the first burger and demolishes that quickly. His comments “This is really really good burger”. The 3rd picture is him finishing up the first burger. 4th picture he’s halfway through the 2nd patty and still feeling pretty strong and still commenting on how good the burgers are. There are some rules to the challenge. Chief among them the 30 minute time limit and if you get up you forfeit.

The rest of the party’s food also arrived while Matt was working on downing his burgers. I really like banana peppers or pepperoncinis on my philly, but they didn’t have them so I opted for the jalapenos. Subbed my fries for onion rings as well. Our roommate Jacob ended up getting the special of the day which was the Bin on Weck and our other roommate Phil decided to go in on a Philly served straight up (onions and shaved rib eye topped with the cheez whiz).

The shaved rib eye was salty and had a little char from the flat top I think, really great texture. The amoroso roll was incredibly light and is the perfect vessel for a philly. The onion rings are heavily breaded and fried. I normally don’t like heavily breaded onion rings, but these were cooked perfectly and it was almost like a little onion donut. Went incredibly well with the spicy remoulade. Phil and Jake ended up dipping their fries in the remoulade because it was so delicious. Anyways, back to the challenge.

In the first picture Matt still fighting the good fight, but he’s starting to feel it on the 3rd patty. He’s grazing on some fries and gathering his will to finish the 3rd one. He does, and then throws in the towel.

The challenge beat Matt today, but there is the possibility of a rematch. I ended up having a lot of the last burger. Matt ordered it well done, and while I prefer a burger medium this was still excellent. I’ve been looking for a good black and bleu burger down here and I think I need to come back to find out if EATS! does it right.

EATS! gets a Rating: rating. Excellent service, excellent food, and a nice atmosphere.

Update!
Matt here, reporting in with the latest in stomach news. While still struggling, I can report that the challenge was indeed delicious. I certainly advise anyone in a mood for a burger to give EATS! a shot. One thing that Dan left out, the proprietor of the joint attended us frequently throughout the challenge to give me time updates, ensure that I was sticking to the rules (No getting up, no sharing food, if the food falls to the floor and you want to win then you’ve got to eat it) and to provide words of encouragement. I must say, we received great service from our waitress (and in general) as she was spot on with water refills as well as making sure the other guys got everything they needed while they chuckled at my self-appointed misfortune. While I did NOT finish the challenge (as you can see by my sad mug) I do have tips that may help you conquer the challenge and be the master of your own Burger-Destiny:

1. Eat large meals the day prior (if you can, do a couple of days).
2. Get a good workout in the evening prior to help pique your appetite (this is what helped me bring a hearty appetite).
3. Drink water during the challenge.
4. Don’t order the burger with extras. Only order Meat/Bread/Cheese and ask for sauces to dip on the side.
5. Start fast and finish early.

Post meal I’d suggest drinking a lot of water to help with digestion. If you have the cajones to give it a shot, then good luck to you Sir or Madame.
-Matt

Filed under: Affordable, Americana, Awesome, Beef, Dan, Delicious, Moderate, Tampa by Native
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New World Brewery
http://newworldbrewery.net
1313 East 8th Avenue  Tampa, FL 33605-3611
(813) 248-4969

New World is one of those spots in Ybor that we’ve been going to for a long while now.  Excellent beers on tap. Great selection on and off the tap. I kept hearing about the BBQ Buffet but just never managed to make it over.  We work on the opposite side of Tampa and most of the time if I’m driving out that way I’d rather just eat at home. So, since we took a day off Matt, Phil and myself decided to head out to lunch somewhere.  We were thinking about grabbing a Falafel sandwich from the new Greek restaurant in Ybor. We parked and started walking down there when I spotted New World and remembered that they just started the Monday through Friday BBQ Buffet. Fucking. Wicked.

It’s also kind of weird being in/around Ybor around lunch time. Normally we stop by for a bite to eat at night or for drinks.

Anyways, one of my favorite things about establishments in Florida are the open air layouts.  New World is easily one of my favorite spots for this. There is the main bar area that opens up into an atrium with seating.  They have bands playing almost every night. The paradigm seems kinda strange coming from Michigan, you go out to a place and in the winter they keep the doors open but they roll out the space heaters to keep you warm and enjoying the outside. Anyways, they have things hanging on the walls, like a horse riding a bike and a mounted marlin guarding the beers. The atmosphere is inviting, but it’s the food we’re interested in.

Now, it’s BBQ, but they’ve put their twist on all of it. You come in and grab a plate and load up.  You pay by the pound, so you can grab as little or as much as you’d like.  There is also a current reigning champion for who has eaten the most.  Andre Jones is the current champ.  I don’t know how but Andre has dominated a couple of the local eating challenges. He’s also on the wall at this local hotdog place, Frankie’s. Anyways, back to the food. The potato salad is a curry potato salad, just absolutely ridiculous. Curry really pops, but it marries really well with the dish. I would come back just for the potato salad. Coleslaw was fairly standard, but it’s freshly made and the slaw sauce is good. The corn salsa was good, although I can’t recall the flavor that well now. I skipped on the macaroni salad, but that’s probably pretty legit as well. The corn muffins were light and I really like the presentation. Bite size if you have a big mouth, but otherwise a 2 bite endeavor.

One of my biggest beefs with chain restaurants and mall restaurants (shit.. most restaurants) is how they treat vegetables. They’ll give you a big heap of steamed broccoli, but then they drench it in a tankard’s worth of butter. Just give me some fucking greens that haven’t been converted to a saturated fat. Anyways, New World Brewery doesn’t do this. The green beans are clean and fresh, with a hint of salt to help bring out flavor. It reminds me of my Grandma Michael’s freshly picked green beans from the garden. The collard greens were pretty good, I thought it could use a little vinegar but that’s all personal preference.  The baked beans have some chunks of green pepper that still had some snap to it, which was nice. I’m not a huge fan of baked beans but these are good as far as that goes.

They have some curried rice with pineapple.  Awesome. A little kick, and just delicious (you might have noticed that I enjoy curry). I also sampled the mac and cheese, which is pork mac and cheese. Personally, I would like just little bits of pork, this is more of a casserole sort of thing.  It’s good, just not what I prefer.  The mashed potatoes were good, but nothing really out of the ordinary.

Onward to proteins! The smoked chicken is amazing. Tender, delicious and smoky. The sausage was completely stand out, I was dipping it in the Carolina style BBQ. Mustard base sauce to go with some ridiculous sausage. The pork was good, tender but not too tender.  If it’s overcooked it will tend to fall apart too much which I don’t really like. The Kansas City and Carolina were my favorite sauces, but you gotta drop by and pick your favorite some time. You just can’t go wrong here, everything is good.

I’d prefer to be more critical and I don’t like to give these out, but this is definitely worth the rating. Rating: experience.

Filed under: Americana, Awesome, Bar, Chicken, Dan, Delicious, Dining Out, Experience, Florida, Food Type, Moderate, Pork, Restaurant Type, Tampa by Native
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A little info about Rib Fest

http://www.ribfest.org/

November 11th, 12th, & 13th, 2011
22 Years of “ROCKIN’ RIBS – HELPIN’ KIDS”
Vinoy Park, 701 Bayshore Drive NE, St. Petersburg, Florida 33701
Gates open at 11 AM daily – No Re-entry

Day of Show at Gate
$20.00
Active Military and family, with ID, No Charge at Gate

Some quick notes about the ribs

(Notes made by Matt on his phone, probably should have just brought a notepad.. but whatever. Also these are as is, as they were taken throughout the day)

Willimgham’s (http://www.willinghams.com/): ribs arent fall off bone but tender but moist. The rub is the winner very spicy. Spicy sauce is strong so is sweet.

Big Boned BBQ Co (http://bigbonedbarbeque.com/): tender and moist don’t taste rub. Habanero sauce stood out.

J&j barbeque (http://www.jjbbqtogo.com/): got an extra rib! Vinegar heavy sauce, meat is best thus far, so juicy, very tender, reminds Phil of Michaels. Best meat so far, but mild sauce was far too vinegary, hot was good.

Camp 31 (http://www.camp31.com/): apparently defending champions, not sure of this or something else. Most expensive so far at $9 but got roughly 5 ribs. As tender as 1st vendor but juicy unlike 1st. Comes with sauce painted on, no additional sauce available but that’s kinda nice. Sweet tea good not cloying. Refills are $1 on the $2 orig cost, so that’s good.

AUSSOM AUSSIE (http://www.aussomaussie.com/): different look to the vendor, also has aussie accent, not sure if real as I didn’t hear him say fuck or cunt once… but maybe that’s for appearances for my american brethren. Got shrimp on stick. Nothing to call home about, don’t get skrimps here.

Carolina Rib King, Spartanburg, SC (http://www.carolinaribking.com/): best rib so far. Great slow heat in the sauce.

Texas outlaws (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Texas-Outlaw-BBQ/171154736239282): pretty girls at counter and painting ribs. Good, sauce like Michaels… but the meat not as tender.

Thoughts about Ribfest

So, we ended up seeing some signs around town for something called Ribfest.  I love some good bbq, so obviously I went home and shared the news of some sort of festival for delicious meats with the roommates.  Looked up the information online about the shindig. We were all enthused about the prospect of a lot of different ribs. Unfortunately one of the roommates was heading out of town to visit a friend of ours in Cleveland.  His loss.

The one downside is the car ride across the bay.  I don’t know what it is about living in Tampa or St. Pete but it seems like everyone I talk to is loathe to cross the bay for events and stuff.  It’s only a 30 minute or so car ride, but the bridges make it seem like it’s longer than that. Anyways, we knew we had to brave a 30 minute car ride for the prospect of ribs.

Expensive. I knew it wasn’t going to be cheap going into it but if you’re looking to sample a wide variety of ribs you will spend a pretty penny. Three of us went, and it was $20/each at the gate to get in. So that was $60 to start the day. Three bones were typically $7, so we hit up 7 different vendors and had ribs from 6 of them. The clear winner of the day was Carolina Rib King http://www.carolinaribking.com/. Even after being stuffed, they easily had the tastiest sauce and best texture for ribs.  While I realize that what people want out of BBQ is variable, for me they were perfect.  Tender, but still texture.  A little kick in the sauce and not too smoky.

If I went again in the future I would definitely buy my ticket ahead of time. Preorder tickets were $10 or $13 or something, not too steep if you know you’re going.  If you were looking to be there for a while/stick around for the concert stuff I’d suggest bringing some chairs and a blanket for the ground.  The sound was kind of ridiculously loud, so if you’re really into your classic rock cover bands move right up to the speakers.. otherwise you might want to keep some distance.

It was a lot more county fair like than I expected, some activities for kids and a little car show with some bitchin’ restored/maintained old cars and trucks.  Overall not a bad day.

The day was pretty fun walking around and people watching. The ribs ranged from Rating: stars to Rating: stars for the Carolina Rib King.

Filed under: Website by Native
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Stouffer’s Farmer’s Harvest
Roasted Chicken & Bowtie Pasta (with a vegetable medley)

Around $3.50
420 calories
180 calories from fat
340 grams
About 8 minutes cooking time

Stouffer’s has apparently caught wind of what other frozen meals have been doing lately regarding marketing. You can see on the front of the box they’re selling this frozen ‘delight’ as a healthy choice (note their billing of: 1.‘No Preservatives.’ 2. Olive Oil and Sea Salt. 3. A fresh Carrot on the box! My response: 1. It’s frozen. 2. Rachel Ray bandwagon. 3. That carrot looks nothing like what I got in my frozen meal.). While I laud making a healthier frozen meal, I think they’re going a little overboard with the “Farmers’ Harvest” tag. If you make something that’s good you don’t need hyperbolic packaging.

The chicken is pretty good despite not resembling what’s advertised on the box. No cartilage thus far (none of the chicken wound up with that Chicken McNugget “suprise” where you take a bite of what looks like normal chicken and you get a fist-sized chunk of gristle or cartilage. Definitely one of the most unappetizing aspects of reconstituted chicken, you know, aside from the whole process of reconstituting chicken parts into the proverbial ‘chicken boot’ [of course I couldn't find a picture of the proverbial McNugget boot shape, but suffice it to say that McNuggets are shaped like little boots. Next time you have one, look for it.]), and it’s kind of moist. Their blend of herbs and spices, primarily parsley and sea salt, are satisfactory. You won’t be calling your mother telling her about your amazingly flavored frozen meal, but I have had far worse. The bowtie pasta is alright, nothing stands out positively or negatively. The vegetables (green beans, carrots, and red pepper) are actually some of the best I’ve had from a frozen meal. The veggies taste fairly fresh (considering their circumstances), retaining a bit of crispness and they’re a little bit buttery (I’d hazard to guess that’s the vegetable oil that the box lauds).

I tasted each component seperately for the purposes of this review, but as you can see above I like to get all of the pieces together in a war of textures and flavors. You can certainly eat this meal without adding anything to it, but I’m a fiend for hotsauce so after my initial impressions I added a little bit of Louisiana Hot Sauce on top. Considering this is a frozen meal, and not freshly prepared I would recommend this for anyone that needs an easy meal they can heat up in the microwave.

Stouffer’s you get a Rating: for this one (based on quality of components, flavors, and cost). Neither great nor bad, but totally edible.

-Matt in Tampa

IMPORTANT UPDATE! Here are the boot nuggets:http://www.flickr.com/photos/kingpowercinema/89053032/

Filed under: Affordable, Americana, Chicken, Dining In, Eating At Work, Good, Matt, Mediocre, Tampa by Matt
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Queen of Sheba
http://www.ethiopianrestauranttampa.com/
3636 Henderson Boulevard
Tampa, FL 33609
(813) 872-6000

Queen of Sheba is celebrating their 4th Anniversary, November 11th and 12th. They are putting a full spread out each day, I would definitely suggest trying to visit during that time.

Before coming to Queen of Sheba I had never had Ethiopian food. Due to my friend Jacob’s, and my brother’s enthusiasm for Ethiopian cuisine we wound up hearing from a young lady about Queen of Sheba; in particular their beef tartar. I’m always up for trying something new (except for Balut… unless I am REALLY hungry), so off we went to try Queen of Sheba for lunch.

Normally I write my reviews immediately after, or shortly after eating at the restaurant. In this case, I had eaten at Queen of Sheba and taken some notes on my phone… and then promptly became a lazy shit and didn’t write anything for months. I’ve since eaten there several times (most recently went for dinner with my roommates and one of my friends, Jamie, when she was in town this previous weekend). I’ve lost some steam from my original notes, so I’ll post what I had noted and let you suss out my experience from that (lazy, I know):

*2nd time here, had the buffet the first time, it was excellent. Costs around $10.

*Note the hand sanitizer, traditional Ethiopian eats with hands using “injera” as your fork, amd it’s a little plate basically.

*Harar beer is basic lager but good. The Hakim stout is delicious, recommend.

*Music is really laid back, and the setting as you can see is very casual. Fresh butcher paper goes down for each table and the proprietress, Seble Gizaw, works everything with a good word for all customers. She explains how to go about eating Ethiopian for any first timers.

*Ordered Queens Special (cook’s choice of items), Beef Tartar, and the Chefs Choice Veggie Combo Platter.

*Jake and Dan talking “shop”, discussing boring work nonsense.

*Food came out and impressive. Each time we come we enjoy the food thoroughly. The tartar was tender, spiced without a lot of heat in it. All of us thoroughly impressed but we all agreed that the veggie dishes are our favorite. Rich flavors, satisfying cravings for curry flavor. With the tartar you get an assortment of sauces and spices to add heat and we added those in providing an additional kick. Definitely advise coming back.

Synopsis: Definitely try something new and go to Queen of Sheba. Every trip has left me feeling contented and with a smile on my face. I give it a consistent Rating:

-Matt in Tampa

Filed under: Awesome, Beef, Chicken, Delicious, Dining Out, Enjoyable, Ethiopian, Experience, Family Joint, Florida, Lamb, Matt, Moderate, Restaurant Type, Reviewer, Tampa, Vegan, Vegetarian by Matt
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Honey’s
The Original Honey’s
Honey’s Family Sports Bar Restaurant
http://www.gohoneys.com/Tampa.html
11115 North Dale Mabry Highway
Tampa, FL
(813) 264-1616

Let me preface this review with: Holy shit, Honey’s chicken wings.

Other than Google confusing me on what I should list as the proper name of this restaurant, I couldn’t find anything wrong with my chicken wing crushin’ experience at Honey’s (caveat, their credit card machine was down and usually that’s a deal breaker as I am wont to never have cash in my pocket… except today I had some greenbacks in my wallet!).  Honey’s was so good that it broke me out of my writing malaise. Before I ramble on about how much I liked the food, I’ll build out the atmosphere for you. Honey’s is a sports bar. When you step inside it’s fairly dark to give you a better shot at watching the game you want to see, without glare from the Florida sun. Honey’s has a fairly similar ‘feel’ to that of one of my old haunts in Lansing (see Bonnie’s Place), in that you can get a good bite to eat without a bunch of bullshit and maybe catch the game you wanted to see while you’re at it. Likewise the wait-staff aren’t scantily clad young ladies, serving you tender vittles with a side of silicone. Don’t get me wrong, I like the sight of pleasant looking young lasses as much as the next guy, but I don’t like feeling like a fucking creeper because my server is all T&A’d up so I wind up goggling at her while trying to mow down a burger. <insert stale ‘breast/chicken breast’ joke here>, yeah that’s not me.

One thing I find myself craving in Tampa are hole in the wall joints to grab a bite or a beer. Pyschoanalyzing this desire aside, finding these kinds of places in Tampa is fairly difficult.  One reason Lansing may have a plethora of these kind of places could be due to the town’s blue collar residents. A city that was home to several GM plants and specifically to a large GM car assembly factory from 1901 until 2005, the longest operating factory in the US when it closed (all that remains are the gates and plots of land full of rubble); generations of line workers defining the culture in the Capitol City, subtly dictating the kinds of establishments that thrived and remained open throughout the years. For better or worse, the same culture that likely led to Lansing having more bars per capita than any other capital city in the United States. (This being a factoid I’d heard years ago and I can’t speak to the veracity of the previous statement, but suffice it to say that there are a shitload of bars in Lansing in comparison to the population density.) Another likely factor is the presence of Michigan State University. Cash strapped students are always looking for a good deal, and any joint with competitive prices that serves up a good dish can keep itself in business. While not all hole in the wall joints serve up the best experience (or the best of anything, sometimes they’re a hole in the wall because they just plain suck), there is something to be said for a place that must simply stand on its drink or food without reliance on being prettied up. My love of these places could be to due to being a general malcontent, or it could be the value of these places and the experiences I’ve had at them. You can only dine at an Applebee’s so often before wanting to kick and punch your way out of manufactured mediocrity.

Restaurants and bars in Tampa generally lean away from the hole in the wall and tend toward a vibe of business casual lunches and dinners. While there is nothing wrong with going out and not having to put up with that drunk guy in the corner cursing like a well traveled sailor, I generally prefer not feeling like I’m underdressed when dining in a t-shirt and jeans. Tampa certainly had a blue collar grounding with its early 20^th century cigar production (see: Cigar City), but that same hard working populace did not seem to have the same impact that Michigan autoworkers had on their area. I don’t know whether that’s due to the drastic differences in the locale or some other influences (differences: where Lansing is bathed in snow for a quarter of the year and shares lists with the likes of Seattle and Buffalo for being some of the most overcast cities in the US, whereas Tampa is continuously drenched in sunshine and heat and you’re never far from a beach). Honey’s did not disappoint regarding appropriate dress and vibe, we felt at home in our t-shirts and jeans.

I had heard from my neighbor Lindsay for months that Honey’s has the best wings in Tampa. While she has yet to steer us wrong in this respect, I can be stubborn in quick acceptance as I generally like to find things out on my own (like my father before me, you can tell me the stove is hot, but I don’t believe it until my hand is burnt). I usually grab lunch with my friends/coworkers and we generally like to try new things for lunch, but unfortunately Honey’s is just far enough from the office that it managed to stay off our list of restaurants to try. Due to the distance, you’re pretty much bound to take a lunch that is longer than an hour. While an occasional long lunch isn’t a problem at work, you don’t want to waste a long lunch on a crappy or mediocre restaurant. Due to the blue corn Moon aligning with the stars and other mystical forces and shit, we wound up taking a shot at Honey’s today.

While Honey’s has a large and delicious sounding menu, I had eyes only for chicken wings today. On the advice of my coworkers who had gone to Honey’s the week prior, I ordered 16 of the Spicy Garlic Parmesan wings with a side of Hot Sauce and I was not disappointed. I would prefer that they sold their wings in 5’s or 10’s as I think 10 chicken wings are generally the filling point when ordering wings. Despite this, I managed to house 14 of these bad boys (the other guys at the table polished off the other two) and crush some fries. I washed it all down with unsweetened iced tea. I ordered a large order of the homemade fries to share with the table; the fries come in half pound and pound orders. Honey’s doesn’t mess around.

I don’t think my words will do Honey’s wings the justice they deserve. The wings themselves were high quality, with the perfect ratio of sauce to meat and lacking the superfluous amount of skin and fat that some wings have. The wings were cooked exactly how I like them, where the skin winds up a bit crispy but not overcooked and dried out or inundated with oil. The sauce itself was fantastic, a bit of heat with a bold garlic flavor and dusted with the right amount of parmesan. I enjoy some spice with my food and their hot sauce was the perfect compliment to the wings’ base sauce. Dan ordered the Spicy Honey Garlic wings, and anyone with a bit of a sweet-tooth would appreciate this flavor.  They were sweet, yet not cloyingly so. The fries appeared to be house cut, lightly salted, and fried to order. If you want to eat chicken wings, and eat the best chicken wings in Tampa then you need to go to Honey’s.

My friend Phil ordered the Beef and Cheddar Sandwich which looked delicious, and Jacob ordered the Chicken Sandwich (which in turn looked delicious):

Overall Honey’s earned a Rating: stars. That elusive 5 is reserved for those meals that are so good you can’t put a finger on it, and typically involves the company with you. The spectre of returning to work may have been that -.5, but either way Honey’s deserves a visit.

Cheers,
-Matt in Tampa

Filed under: Affordable, Americana, Bar, Beef, Chicken, Cost, Delicious, Dining Out, Enjoyable, Experience, Family Joint, Florida, Food Type, Matt, Pork, Restaurant Type, Restaurants, Tampa by Matt
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Wicked Wiches
(813) 369-9120
Different locations daily

Wicked Wiches pulled up to the office where I work recently. I was intrigued when I first saw them as I’m interested in the food truck business model. What restaurateur would thumb their nose at the thought of virtually no overhead (no brick and mortar location with rent/mortgage) and being afforded the ability to relocate if one particular area does not provide the necessary customer traffic? The lower overhead means you can likely show a higher profit margin in a shorter period of time and soon go from red to black in your startup costs. The downside to the model is that your food must shine as you don’t have any other accoutrement to give the customer a positive experience (aside from the general customer service experience). Based on my coworker Nook’s humorous review of Wicked Wiches, and their appetizing menu (http://eatfreshdaily.com/wicked/menu.jpg) I decided to give them a shot.

I like the look of their truck, it has a very clean look that instills you with confidence that their kitchen is clean as well. While a car wash doesn’t equate a clean kitchen, it’s a great tactic. They’ve installed green lights that attract your eye and help passerby notice the truck. The canopy is a thoughtful addition in Tampa to afford customers a moment out of the sun while waiting for their food.

Rob ordered the Bourbon Mango Pork ‘Kota’ (for some background on ‘Bunny chow’ aka the ‘Kota’ or quarter check the Wiki article; in short it’s a South African specialty) which looked delicious.  Rob has shown great taste in restaurants and food in the years we’ve worked together and he spoke well of the Kota he ordered.  On the initial perusal of the menu I was tempted to order the Curry Coconut Chicken Kota, in retrospect I wish I had.

I typically review meals as a whole, but in this case there were three discrete parts of this meal and thus I will review them seperately. I will start with the chips as they were my favorite part of the meal. The chips are a skinny kettle chip that has a great charred and caramelized flavor (if you have ‘Better Made’ chips in your area, you can get something akin to Wicked Wiches’ chips called ‘Rainbow’ chips). For some people this might be an acquired taste (so if you’re 5, you might not like them) but I loved them. They topped the chips with a thinned out honey-based sauce (there was a hint of caramel, but it may have just been the caramelization on the chips). The richness of the sauce set off the flavor of the chips; this is something I would gladly order a small bowl of by itself. The chips got a Rating: , and would merit a great snack.

Next I ate the ‘Panino.’ The first few bites of the sandwich left an odd acidity in my mouth that wasn’t appetizing. As I continued to eat the sandwich, the oddness seemed to resolve itself, it may have just been something fickle with my palate. The meats tasted pretty good, but the baby greens didn’t marry very well with the richness of the salami and prosciutto (I think something like arugula would have gone better to really provide contrast). I would prefer a bit rougher or drier bread with this sandwich, I suspect that the prevalence of Cuban Bread in Tampa may play a role in why most restaurants here serve sandwiches with soft breads. My favorite aspect of the samich were the sauteed onions, carrots, and roasted peppers. The Panino got a Rating: , I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this to particular item to anyone but I would eat it again if someone gave it to me.

Finally we arrive at our unfortunate turn of events, the Smoked Ruben. I was curious if there was a South African, Texas, or frankly any reference to ‘Ruben’ as a sandwich that I hadn’t heard of it, but the top results for a Google search of ‘Ruben’ only brought up Ruben Studdard. Ruben Studdard is a big guy who seemingly enjoys his share of eats, so perhaps this ‘Ruben’ is his favorite iteration of the more traditional ‘reuben’. Whatever the case may be, I was not a fan of this Ruben. The concept of the sandwich was sound, making a ‘barbeque’ version of the reuben by using a chipotle russian sauce; an idea that I haven’t seen/tasted before. As I ate the Ruben last, the bread had started to get quite soggy. The primary issue I had with the sandwich was the beef brisket as it wasn’t cooked so that the fat and tissues and had broken down. Each bite felt like I was fighting with the sandwich and at a couple of points I had to take the chewier parts out. While I don’t scoff at chewy things or connective tissue, they need to be presented in the proper context. This sandwich was being delivered as a decadent, comfort-food, gooey mess but the ball is dropped on that when you’re fighting to bite through the sandwich and have to get all Primal Rage to claim your bite. This is not a sandwich I would recommend to anyone until they really nail down how to cook the beef brisket like a traditional corned beef (which requires time, some more time, and then just to make sure give it a little bit more time). This sandwich got a Rating: , mainly for the concept.

From what I had seen, there appeared to be some tasty items on the menu at Wicked Wiches, I just happened to choose poorly. Unfortunately, if something doesn’t shine, it really shouldn’t be on your menu. Overall Wicked Wiches got a Rating: , chips can only take you so far but Wicked Wiches definitely has a vibe that they could redeem themselves… just don’t get the ‘Ruben’.

-Matt in Tampa

Filed under: Americana, Matt, Mediocre, Moderate, Street Vendor, Tampa by Matt
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